« Wait, Is it a night out together? » Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on « Wait, Is This a romantic date? » we’re accompanied by Autostraddle President and

L Word

expert
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. That’s right! This event is focused on lesbian interconnectivity â setting up with buddies’ exes, buddies connecting with the help of our exes, therefore the culture produced by all of that crisis.

Come when it comes down to news, remain for any psychological running. And before that enjoy a casino game that assessments Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t.)

Thanks a lot for all the wonderful opinions after the premiere! For those who haven’t however think about giving us a rating or examine!

PROGRAM NOTES

+ Five years ago Riese assembled an
Old Hollywood chart
this is the intersection of all my interests.

+ Here Is
the essay
I reference where We mention starting up with my roommates.

+ My crush from the few days Mj Rodriguez revealed a music video clip for her song
« Something to Say »
!

+ As anyone who has only observed a handful of episodes of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush with the week C.C. Babcock was actually shocking if you ask me whenever it turned-out she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina informs me they generally nonetheless tend to be.)

Drew:

I would personally end up being extremely okay along with it present. I’d never include some other person without their particular authorization. Although idea of each and every time some body ended up being like, « concur that you might be attached to myself, » I’d resemble, « Yeah, this is the existence I’ve resided. I don’t mind. » Is weird? Would be that difficulty?

Christina:

No, as if I happened to ben’t, I would personally feel terrible not-being. I’d end up like, « hold off, I’m not lying? »

Theme track plays

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.

Drew:

And thanks for visiting

Hold Off, So Is This A Date?

Christina:

Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big concerns. First of all, could it be a romantic date? Exactly what are dates? Who are times? Can we like times? These represent the variety of questions we address about right here very professional and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

My name is Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I’m additionally a writer at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the web. I am recovering at describing me as an author and, notoriously, a lesbian. Which is us. That’s whom we’re.

Drew:

Yeah. And therefore the primary topic recently may be the Chart.

Christina:

I recently believed it needed a sting. I am not sure. That believed truly remarkable, but In my opinion it required it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Many thanks, thanks a lot. No, no, no. Appropriate number of drama.

Christina:

Thank you so much.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re dealing with lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I really like that term because it sounds like you ought to restart the lesbians. It sounds just like the web connection actually operating.

Drew:

Yes. it is extremely sophisticated, extremely advanced, additionally has been around since there’s been lesbians, i believe.

Christina:

Yeah. I do believe scholars would say after they found one lesbian fossils, they discovered an information alongside of these carved inside sand. And I also believe’s just what that flick is about, proper? It is more about the information? That flick with Kate Winslet as well as the sand fossils?

Drew:

Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it’s about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

was about cavern females. I would see that lesbian flick.

Christina:

Really, as I have not viewed it, I’m going to bravely declare that it had been. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve got a lot of lesbian period parts, but we have now never ever gone back that far. And I believe it’s the perfect time we do.

Christina:

Let us only keep getting it further back in time.

Drew:

Before we get to your primary topic, you’re however getting to know united states. And I felt that it might be fun to play a game title in which you men could truly familiarize yourself with Christina. So our very own icebreaker with this week is actually slightly video game that I call « Would U-Haul. »

Christina:

I’m, once more, thus stressed about it. This might just be the way in which I come in to the online game. This could be my video game mentality, slightly high key, just a little stressed. That’s fine. All of us are discovering.

Drew:

I believe that is great. In my opinion that will allow you to be more vulnerable, possibly.

Christina:

Certainly my personal favorite emotions.

Drew:

Only a horror, simply an acute terror. And so the method in which « Would U-Haul » really works is I’m going to describe a scenario. Let us call it Christina fan fiction. And that I’m probably pause after every small section becoming similar, « Okay, Christina, i am aware which you have never resided with someone, don’t want to accept someone. But under these situations, would U-Haul? »

Christina:

And I will sometimes state yes or we’ll say, « I’m prepared. »

Drew:

Unless you â well, we will see here. But I’m thrilled. I do believe I’ve maybe damaged the code.

Christina:

You cracked the rule? I am excited.

Drew:

Why don’t we find out how long this takes. Of course there is a constant perform, i believe you winnings? I am not sure exactly how there are winners here.

Christina:

I’m not sure there are champions in the online game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I don’t know should you’ll agree with that following this. And so I’m going to get going.

Christina:

Fair enough.

Drew:

Okay. Thus, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You are at the buddy’s wedding ceremony. In spite of the plethora of romcoms you’ve soaked up, you did maybe not check-out this marriage thinking you would fulfill any individual because, really, this isn’t a romcom. This is actually the genuine and normal lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking your designated seat as they are glancing at the phone once you realize a lady at your table is looking at you. She presents herself as the pal’s former baby sitter. She’s stayed a friend from the household, but she doesn’t actually know any person there. She appears like mid-forties and contains a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She offers to provide a drink. So when she gets up, you recognize she is six foot high, 6â² 3â³ in heels. So you know very well what? I am simply planning hold on there and become love, at this stage, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am captivated. I am fascinated because i may get laid only at that wedding ceremony. But up to now I’m not U-Hauling anyplace.

Drew:

Cool. Which is completely fair. Entirely fair. Okay. Which means you spend the whole marriage getting to know the other person. There’s just an immediate spark and instant biochemistry. And indeed, you do attach together with intercourse is actually amazing.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

So this marriage was a student in Northern Ca. And that means you both extend your own remains for three days to shag and explore and consume at restaurants and shag. And you provide to divide the price of the now mutual place, but she laughs you down and is love, « clearly perhaps not, honey. » So that the then 3 days tend to be magic. You think the wall space tumbling straight down. You are dropping quicker than you actually have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

So simply for quality’s benefit, i am having a hard time picturing some sort of for which I took three surprise days off of try to go out with an individual i actually do perhaps not understand. That seems bonkers. However if I did, good for myself. But i am simply not U-Hauling at this stage. It will be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is good. You merely met. I have it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Many thanks much.

Drew:

So she comes back to nyc and you return to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That’s where I live.

Drew:

And you’re texting all the time. This is where you reside as well as being in which this lady resides. And you are texting all the time therefore see one another many times a month. She is really hectic along with her work, but she’s rapid to purchase you a train solution to come see her and stay at her gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. Then six months go. And something evening when you are off to dinner, she asks that move in together with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And relocate to Ny? I really don’t really love ny. No, I’m not relocating on six months mark. I am not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Completely, completely, totally. Wow. Okay. Which means you keep matchmaking cross country. She knows that you will want some time she’s happy to await you. A few more several months move. It really is today been over a year. Your own property manager informs you that they are selling your home to a developer that is installing condos, so you can’t renew it. You ought to discover an innovative new destination. Your today girlfriend tells you that no force, but her provide nonetheless stands. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this point, i’d U-Haul for two factors.

Drew:

Yay! Ok. Kindly tell us.

Christina:

Mainly, in a global whereby my landlord offered the house to produce it, my property manager is my best friend, to make sure that seems like some thing went wrong within relationship. And I also must just keep Philadelphia in any event. Whenever I have to maneuver in using my girl over right here, that appears great. That is great. Entirely great. But yeah, In my opinion I might require an external power like a mean property owner.

Drew:

Which is therefore â fine. I did so believe that you would need certainly to need construction to get here, and so I’m glad I knew that.

Christina:

Yeah. That’s precisely what has to occur to me personally initial.

Drew:

Really, I’m grateful to understand what it’s going to take. Therefore in theory, if perhaps you weren’t kicked out, how much cash longer?

Christina:

Truly, which could went on for quite some time. Philly and nyc aren’t also that not both. I got room over right here. We are jumping back and forth. We are having good times. I really could have permit that roll for some time until i suppose Shoshana can become the worst person I know.

Drew:

I didn’t know Shoshana possessed your property. Well, there you go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that was thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thank you for playing.

Christina:

I am stressed, are obvious.

Drew:

And that I’m happy that I knowâ¦ possibly in case you are previously, so if anyone’s ever online dating you and wishes one move in, possibly your girl told Shoshana to market your house for the sake of the connection.

Christina:

Genuinely the quickest method â somebody would just have to keep in touch with Shoshana and get similar, « simply kick their on. » And she’d resemble, « Yeah, certain. Without a doubt. » That could be the way it happened, whether or not she don’t offer the home. Some one would just be like, « are you able to just stop the girl away therefore she’ll just conquer it and move around in with me? » And she would state yes. A hundred percent she would do that. That’s what friendship is actually.

Drew:

I enjoy that.

Christina:

Yeah, which is actually stunning.

Drew:

Well, I feel like we learned much about you.

Christina:

Cheers. I’m like We discovered a whole lot about me, as well. Risk of homelessness is truly the matter that keeps myself moving in any scenario, I guess. Wow.

Drew:

Well, which is fantastic.

Christina:

Which was truly fascinating. I’m similarly happy to move into our major phase because i believe discussing lesbian connection with this guest, using this special guest, i believe it’s going to be incredible, Drew. Exactly how will you be experiencing?

Drew:

I’m thus thrilled. This is exactly a specialized. By that, i am talking about an

L Word

expert, and a small amount of a specialist in the subject available.

Christina:

I believe a few things may be true, my friend. I believe a couple of things may be real without a doubt. Do we wanna introduce the guest or will we wish all of our visitor introducing on their own?

Drew:

I might love all of our guest to introduce herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I’ll claim that our very own visitor is the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. And it’s also odd becoming the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, it’s.

Riese:

I’d to not state everything. I did not actually exercise. I did so state things. I got to stay right here silently.

Christina:

While were truly fearless. As well as your faces happened to be appreciated.

Riese:

Thanks so much.

Christina:

Though it is obviously a sound method, Needs all of our listeners to find out that Riese was creating some very nice reaction confronts during « Would U-Haul. »

Riese:

Absolutely numerous ways to get heard. Guess what happens What i’m saying is? That is what i say. I’m the President of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m additionally on an undefeated kickball staff. And that’s me. We have your pet dog named Carol. And that I have dated individuals.

Christina:

Congrats regarding kickball!

Riese:

Thank you so much. I have been associated with individuals.

Christina:

Great. Loving that. Which is fantastic to carry to the, this right here internet dating podcast. That is great.

Riese:

Yeah. I do believe thatâ¦ can there be anything else?

Drew:

No, I think that is fantastic, Riese.

Christina:

What you may need share.

Riese:

I enjoy raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.

Christina:

As opposed toâ¦

Riese:

You Realize an individual goes likeâ¦

Drew:

It’s like whenever you strike. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are disgusting, and so I just exhausted them from my personal mind.

go right here to lgbtagingadvocacy.org

Riese:

Yeah. And that’s all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, we immediately considered you with this subject.

Christina:

That’s true.

Drew:

Because first and foremost, clearly, queer ladies and non-binary folks in lesbian area have already been like, I don’t know, having sex with folks who their friends experienced sex with since a long time before

The L Term

was actually actually a set. But i really do feel like

The L Term

solidified a specific cultural concept of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. I really felt like you’d have many understanding of this topic.

Riese:

It is genuine. Two of the experts, I would like to state, of

The L Word

had this actual chart of these as well as their pals they were drawing about wall structure or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, was actually one among these. She talked to you about any of it, they had developed this. Because clearly, every person for the reason that copywriter’s room had banged other folks for the creator â you are sure that, therefore the extended internet of these generation of lesbians in l . a .. And so they watched can they were like, « Let’s place it inside show. » And some of these take the chart. Like, one particular just who â¦ like, genuine men and women are on the information as a joke.

Christina:

That’s wonderful. Which is the manner in which you know you’ve made it.

Riese:

Isn’t really that sexy?

Christina:

That will be thrilling personally.

Riese:

And for those who haven’t observed

The L Keyword,

to start with, congrats. Second of all, it will become the centerpiece of a single of our head fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. This lady has everything over her wall. And it also may be the title of a web page which they started labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. Plus the idea â¦ And it’s inside the pilot, i believe. For the first episode, Alice begins referring to how everyone’s connected, because every person’s connected using this individual. And I also can hook up you, as you’re most likely no more than two levels from the me. And therefore had been real. Like, despite having Dana, who’d very restricted knowledge because she ended up being a closeted tennis user, they still were able to connect the girl. And that’s real life since it is real.

Christina:

That’s society. Yeah. That’s what tradition appears to be.

Riese:

Which is culture. Which is queer tradition right there. And today everyone makes their very own charts.

Christina:

Yeah. So would end up being my then concern, was have actually either of you made a chart? Because I don’t imagine You will find, I am also form of now thinking like, that which was this last year resting inside my residence for easily didn’t generate a chart? Like, what was the purpose of that, actually?

Riese:

In my opinion i have completed it during my journal, in the same manner like â¦ Because i love, I am not sure, organizing information, i suppose, as an idea physical exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, i believe that is also precisely why Im astonished that i’ven’t done it. I like the concept of categorizing things.

Riese:

Appropriate. Yeah. Because it’s interesting. I’m not sure the reason why it is therefore fascinating, but it is. It’s interesting become love, wow, all of these folks, they can be linked. It really is crazy.

Drew:

On program, when ourchart.com is conceived, they will have an actual data that people can truly add material. And I also feel just like something you joked when it comes to on

To L and Straight Back,

and now men and women say always is similar to, if this existed in a proper means, no one would put their unique names about it, no-one would feel at ease placing their particular labels on it.

Riese:

You’d.

Drew:

I’d. I’d end up being very good with it present. I would personally never include somebody else without their own permission. But the notion of like, whenever somebody was like, « make sure you might be linked to myself, » I’d wind up as, « Yeah, this is the life I resided. I do not mind. » Usually strange? Is that a challenge?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, i might feel poor not-being â¦ I would personally resemble, « Wait, I am not upon it? Like, i am sorry, just what? » No, that would in fact deliver me personally into a light ethical anxiety about which i will be as people, the thing I’m undertaking. Have always been I interesting? Carry out individuals {like